As much as my life has gotten a million times better I still, for whatever reason, find that I dance on that edge of suicide from time to time. As I am doing now. What were the triggers this time?
People and friends, who I thought were friends, turning their backs on me, pushing me aside like I'm nothing. My existence is somehow anathema to them. This too shall pass, but when? Will I have any friends left? And what is a friend anyway? Loneliness is terrifying!
Ever since LDS conference I've been feeling the cold shoulder from people. No doubt because of the talk by Oaks in which he tries to expound on all the conditions that must be met before God can give unconditional love. Is that the Mormon God or Oaks's God? It is one in the same, as Oaks speaks for the Mormon God. I don't believe in that God. I don't care if an imaginary being loves me or not. But they do. So they can't love me because I don't meet the conditions that their God requires. Who are these people?
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